Consider for a moment



By Gwen Lawrence


It has been my experience that Men have a lower tolerance for pain than women. I suppose this can be argued but for the most part lets be honest.


Close your eyes let me take you through this short-guided meditation:

Calling all men…

Imagine for a second that you arrive at your doctor’s appointment

You wait in the waiting room for an hour or so in an anything but full coverage paper gown

Freezing afraid and exposed…

You are now walking into a sterile room crowded with metal transformer like machinery

A militant nurse practitioner arrives, just for your comfort lets pretend it is a male. Female if that makes you happier

They ask you to drop your paper gown and proceed to lower the monstrosity machine to hip height

Next oh next…load your testicles on the platform of no respect and lean in he/she says…

Lean in further use your hips, don’t get happy just listen,

Lower lower lower is the top relentless metal platform until, oh god wait a minute it descends to the testicles and… are you kidding me in not only lowers is crushes with brute force until…until… until… the poor testicle is merely a quarter inch thick.


Take a deep breath and hold it, as your nurse moseys on in to take a futuristic image, no rush so hold your breath and then…click… picture taken the violence of the crush releases and you feel your soul return to your body.

Not so fast another angle and then the other ball too!


Seems archaic and pure punishing doesn’t it?

Well I hope you enjoyed the torment of the mammogram. We women must endure every year instead of a sonogram, which seems more in line with diagnosis than crushing breast tissue and aggravating the heck out of it


Every year after I enjoy the finale of my suffering I conclude a MAN must have invented the mammogram, and if that was the protocol that our society and medical community today used to diagnose testicular cancer you could be damn sure something kinder would have been invented by now.


Thanks guys!